Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This baby is an asshole
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
