His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
