Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
