Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
whose parrot is this?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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