come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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