I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
