He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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