i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My cat gives me a boner
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
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