i already hear my dad disowning me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
