I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
