I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
