I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
