Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
