i think my tv is drunk
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
