aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
That accounts for only three of the penises
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
