Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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