i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
there is glitter all over my balls
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
