Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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