hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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