Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
