She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
