he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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