Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's blow job season.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
