she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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