He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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