This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
