kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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