Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
