my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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