forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
