Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
