i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
