Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
