I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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