He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just found a bag of teeth...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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