drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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