just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it's great music for shaving your balls
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
