best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
