my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
