ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
