Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
