in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
