I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
