dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
well you can't waste a boner
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
