Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
