I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
