Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
