btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
you never un-have a 4some
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
