I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do herpes really smell.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
