I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
