He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
